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hells bells - Satanic Panic in the Attic
hells bells
Ok. I really don't want to talk about this. But, I just have to. A force is driven from within.

Several times this year the bathroom in my school has had a smell so grotesque that I instantly imagine Dirty Bitch Tracking Elephants finding the smell offender and trampeling them to a bloody death.

Filling the entire room is a distinct smell of rotting fish with just a touch of strawberry. I think it is that hint of sweetness which plunges me into the madness even further. The dirty bitches hovering over the land with legs spread wide gassing their stink about. Sick. Kind of like when the Nazi's tried to trick all those people into "taking a shower", these nasty girls try to trick us with some sweet scented perfume lie. And I know they are just walking around with heads held high thinking nobody knows.

This must not continue. So, I've come up with a good plan. Upon registering for classes every girl will be given a smell examination. If you turn out to be a dirty bitch a micro chip will be implanted in your neck, and when you attempt to enter the normal bathroom an alarm will go off and dogs will attack you.

Dirty bitches will have their own bathroom, which they can only get to after going through a series of mazes, and rotting fish will be hurled at their heads by fat men with no teeth and oozing wounds. Sometimes these men even shoot the puss from the wounds so hard and fast that it lands right in your screaming mouth. Better keep clean next time huh?

Ok. I feel better now. Now I can return to my normal "foolish" daydreams.

Current Mood: prickly

29 human choked on their own vomit and died || ...but i love you
devilsmark From: devilsmark Date: April 12th, 2004 06:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
gross. that totally destroys my usual routine of using the womens' bathroom "because it's cleaner". d'oh!
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 12th, 2004 06:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Haha. Sorry d00d. I was just thinking about how you used to say "dude" all the time. And how a lot of the time you would say it in response to something that really made you mad, and you would get this smirk and a sneaky twinkle in your eye. And I felt as though you had many fantastic stories of blood and guts going on behind the one simple "dude..." It always proved for much hilarity.
devilsmark From: devilsmark Date: April 12th, 2004 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
heh. i STILL day it all the time.
a "sneaky twinkle" LOL!
runwithoutpants From: runwithoutpants Date: April 12th, 2004 06:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

But bathrooms are for dirty deeds.
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 12th, 2004 06:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
dirty deeds yes, dirty bitches...i say no.

it's ok to take a sick dump and stink up a room. you had to do what you had to do. no apologies needed.

but this smell i speak of comes from none other than an unclean [or diseased. who knows?] vagina.

this is a smell that should be locked in a box, and put in a museum of the grotesque and strange for all to marvel and puke at.
runwithoutpants From: runwithoutpants Date: April 12th, 2004 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

Down with dirty vaginas!

Oh, I have this great public bathroom story:
One day I went to school to pick up one of my friends. But before I did, I took a side journey into the bathroom. I sat in there for a little while, waiting for everyone to leave so I could do my business. I must have been really silent, because eventually everyone left but one person. This person then procceeded to whisper, but I couldn't catch what of. And then she made little sounds and eventually I figured out that she was puking - most likely due to bulimia. :x

It was a strange day.
yobachi2003 From: yobachi2003 Date: April 15th, 2004 12:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Smelly coochie is the worst!
From: pokemyeye Date: April 12th, 2004 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 12th, 2004 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
yeah. that's right.
pulsewidth From: pulsewidth Date: April 12th, 2004 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
looks like my signs need to be introduced to your school...

and fast! w00t!
From: shiggarae Date: April 13th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC) (Link)
i find this really funny cuz the bathroom here at my school is the same way and one of my classmates refuses to use it becuz of that.
jetblackcoverup From: jetblackcoverup Date: April 13th, 2004 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
you always entertain me. sorry about last night.
From: xxccwcxx Date: April 13th, 2004 05:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh lordy, such humor. how i miss going to school...........wait i lied, i'm so glad i'm out and that i don't have to deal with stinky people and their stinky privates. yucky!
lsdtangerine From: lsdtangerine Date: April 13th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

new lj

I changed my LJ name from pinkpacifier to [info]lsdtangerine</span>. Please add my new name!!! :) Thanks, Kelli
chuteboxe From: chuteboxe Date: April 13th, 2004 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 18th, 2004 03:50 pm (UTC) (Link)

mmm a whole string of them.

four times the love from four times the man, eeeedward.

wait. those hearts weren't to represent your love for the dirty bitches was it?

i just imagined you sitting there with a furious expression on your face[bright red], hands twitching and tense, feet tapping, as you saw my displeasure of the dirty bitch. intensely, passionately typing those hearts to show your love for the dirty bitch. so overcome by emotion, your entire being became a caveman. heart heart heart heart! me like dirty snatch. because the truth is you believe it is the key to all the great mysteries of life.

oh edward. you are a curious human.

haha man. life is great.
chuteboxe From: chuteboxe Date: April 19th, 2004 10:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha, no Emalee, I share the hate for the dirty bitches. And sharing is one of the finer things in life. The string of hearts was just 4 you.
From: electricsinboy Date: April 14th, 2004 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
i went on a blind date with a girl who's aroma overpowered the pizza we were having for dinner. (yeah, so? i took a date to get pizza! everybody likes pizza!) i did not give a goodnight kiss, to say the least.

so foul is the dirty snatch...
that smells worse than any men's locker room in exsistence.

i hear Sting takes pretty nasty shits, though...
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 18th, 2004 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
"so foul is the dirty snatch..."

i get great images of you giving a brilliant and hilarious speech from that one simple beginning to a sentence.

p.s. beer and scrabble always sound attractive, but not so much as when i picture it with you. haha. i can't wait.

spilltheblood From: spilltheblood Date: April 15th, 2004 08:03 am (UTC) (Link)
amanda and i are OFF today.. so we are free tonight if you want to hang out, drink coffee or something, see the baby. :)
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 18th, 2004 04:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
DER. sorry. missed opportunities. :(

i'm a mess these days. blah. i need to get with "the program"!

we must reschedule.
spilltheblood From: spilltheblood Date: April 18th, 2004 06:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
i think she is off this wednesday...pretty sure really.
lafemmelolita From: lafemmelolita Date: April 16th, 2004 01:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
what are you doing in school?
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 18th, 2004 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm just taking english and psychology right now. I don't know what I want to major in yet. I guess I'm just fucking around really. It's ok. I like it.
lafemmelolita From: lafemmelolita Date: May 1st, 2004 07:12 am (UTC) (Link)
it's not fucking around if it's fun or interesting. and maybe it's not a plan but who says what you're life has to exist of. i hope things are good in yourself.
From: ex_nascent722 Date: April 17th, 2004 10:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
What school you going to? P.s. What days do you not work, or go to school?
girlsetsfire From: girlsetsfire Date: April 18th, 2004 04:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ivy Tech. I'm poor and don't know what the hell i'm doing. Well that's just one stereotype I happen to fit. heh.

I go to class monday and wednesday from 12:30-3:30, and friday from 2:30-5:20. So anytime other than that, since I don't work right now.

So, are we going on an adventure or what!? :)
From: ex_nascent722 Date: April 18th, 2004 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah. Me to exactly. Good ole Ivytech. Sad thing is, I'm noticing a pattern. For all the people I have met who have got their associates, not one got a job afterwards. Im thinking about going to I.U. at the art school, but I cant give public speeches, so no matter what, I have to take a public speaking class, or a class that I have to present. So im fucked. Perhaps thats a calling that I should do something else before starting school, like traveling.

Adventure? We sure are. Lets hop a train and go out west. But in the mean time, we can go skinny dipping in some quarries if you want, and then see a drive in movie.
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29 human choked on their own vomit and died || ...but i love you